Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
One girl and one boy is just not enough.
Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
THIS IS WHAT CELL PHONES ARE FOR! So you can tell me that you're bringing your coworker who lives in the "Halleleuia community" home for a beer SO I'M NOT DRESSED IN LEATHER LINGERIE WHEN HE WALKS IN THE FUCKING DOOR!!
Randomize
