I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
I'm currently watching porn and playing beer pong with wine in the lobby of a hotel with a squadron of hot airforce guys. You can never say your life is better than mine again
Mimosas make me so tired. I just ordered a huge thing of pasta and gonna eat it in my underwear like a bad bitch
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