I've seriously contemplated telling him the baby isn't his just so I can meet Maury Povich
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
Vodka?
Forever.
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
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