Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
please come you make the beer taste better
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
I was told I sang Taylor Swift's entire discography in between violent bursts of green vomit before falling asleep in the bath tub
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
Randomize
