Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
woke up on my stairs with half a hot dog beside me and the last text I sent was "i make hot dog in toasTer" .
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
Randomize
