sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
If you put those two in a room together it'd be like a Taylor Swift fantasy and an Adele nightmare just licking faces
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
Randomize
