I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
I swear to God if you start calling your dick “my pegasus” we’re not friends anymore
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
Randomize
