good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
Randomize
