Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
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