Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
my mom just walked in on me furiously masturbating while reading twilight. needless to say, im officially out of the closet.
if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
Randomize
