i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
farters have to be the big spoon...
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
Randomize
