Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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