she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
Found my phone laying in a snow angel outside my apt this morning.
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
Randomize
