We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
Randomize
