She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
I could fuck to npr.
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
Well I can cross 'get my dick slathered in coconut oil while watching the bob's burgers porn parody' off my bucket list.
Randomize
