girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
Officially hit an ultimate low today. I was so hung-over I threw up on the ground in front of the jousting display in the London tower. But on a positive note, Brits are very understanding when you vomit on their history.
Dick pics just aren’t doing it for me, this bowl of Mac n cheese and Game of Thrones trump you tenfold
Randomize
