Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
where does the pee come out of this thing
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
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