just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
Shaving my legs with an ankle monitor on is surprisingly more difficult than the drunk driving that got me here
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
There's a baby duck in my toilet. Fuck you.
how do you casually eat pancakes with someone after they send you an unsolicited dick pic?
you don't. it's the point of no return for pancake enjoyment.
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
Randomize
