I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
Randomize
