Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
And literally 4loko margaritas are callin my name. They're like "Hey girl come on over here I'll make you forget about grades and boys and it'll be a good idea to send everyone 55 snapchats of your cleavage" ok
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
He offered to let her do a line of coke off his hard-on. She said she'd had that hard-on and it would be a bump, not a line. Everyone laughed. That's why he left.
So that answers the first question but not the second: how the fuck am I getting home?
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
Randomize
