Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
I think my vagina is haunted
So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
Fun fact: deep throating plus dehydration plus eating a lot of citrus = my throat is fucked. Metaphorically and physically.
Randomize
