I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
Randomize
