we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
Brought out my three foot martini glass last night, that explains why I haven't left my bed all day long.
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
I also tried to solve my dog's itching problem with crystal healing. I'm so high, dude.
I just rubbed amethyst all over him and kept saying 'no bites.'
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
Randomize
