i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
I woke up this morning and the search history on my phone says: "What is this castle in front of my house?"
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
I just racked up a fucking ginormous hospital bill because I came so hard I had an asthma attack
Randomize
