So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
I CAN CONTROL MY GERBIL WITH MY BREATH. HE FOLLOWS THE SMELL. PROBABLY WOULDNT BE AS EXCITING IF I WASNT HIGH OFF MY ASS, BUT STILL
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
Randomize
