I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
The bartender just asked me if I owned stock in Jameson. I've been here for less than an hour and he's already judging me.
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
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