why did i save someone in my phone as corn dildo?
There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
Randomize
