Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
i permit you to call me
I need a sticker that says "It's no use hitting on me - I'm the plus one" Seriously, how do they think I got in in the 1st place?
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
she kept asking for a lobster dinner while she was crying. it was actually the most reasonable drunk chick request i've ever heard.
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
Randomize
