i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
Randomize
