those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
Randomize
