Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
On imdb the canadians say It's amazing
There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
She said, after pronouncing how sober she was, and I quote 'Take this bag, it's so heavy it's like 500 degrees! Wait, is it time to go? Can I run? I think I can run!' Then she ran away.
I lost my vibrator temporarily and for some unknown reason my first thought was that you might have stolen it. But then I realized you would never do that because you know it keeps me from killing people. But I am overtired and lacking in faith.
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
Randomize
