Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
i got kicked out of the casino for drunken disorderly conduct because i kept stumbling into old people and one of them told on me. as the boucer was taking down my information so i could no re-enter i ripped my id out of his hands while yelling fuck you.
Randomize
