I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
I'm texting you the word "cockring" because I feel it hasn't been said enough throughout our friendship.
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
I just typed "I've got a friend" and my phone autocompletes to "that's a dick appointment". What is my life.
Randomize