maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
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