covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
Randomize
