I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding...
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
Randomize
