I just had to have my mom look at my penis to figure out what it was. How do you think my day is going?
Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
I love how you send me nude pics of girls you're fucking and name them by which city they're in instead of their name. "This is Nashville, this is Tupelo, this is Jackson..."
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
Randomize
