Yo, my girl thinks she's pregnant, so I've got a DD for the wedding. Sweet.
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
Randomize
