Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
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