Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
Hows this for an invention: a toilet that weighs your poop
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
I'm waiting for your stupid pizza and this 400 lb drunk man is behind me singing the acapella version of Elevation by U2
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
Randomize
