Alright folks.. i have made history - I just hit my 2nd PARKED car SOBER withing 6 months.. :*( wtf?!
OMG I just tried to text you something dirty but accidentally texted the obama campaign
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
Randomize
