dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
So far today I've found 3.5 million dollars in savings. Pretty sure management is gonna start buying me hookers if getting laid has this much payoff
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
I’m home. Please don’t call me unless you have an arterial bleed or you’re on fire. Love you 😘
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