My mom caught just caught me jerking off...in her room.
lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
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