Will you take my knitting needle, stick it far up my nose, reach in my frontal lobe and give it a few swirls?
My room smells like vodka and shame
Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
just licked whipped cream off some model's nipple... just coming clean for when the pic gets on instagram because i am not untagging that shit
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
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