New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
i think we sleep fucked last night...
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
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