Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
Randomize
