3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
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