Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
My mom is currently out with her lesbian friends and I'm home alone drunk listening to the Les Miserables soundtrack. WHY DO I FEEL THE NEED TO COMPETE WITH HER?
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
Randomize