you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
this is a preemptive text before you call me freaking out: i have your keys and your car is parked safely a block down from your apartment.
you are a goddess
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize
