David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
She announced her abortion via fbk
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
She texted me and said she was fingering herself. Don't respond to this because she's the perfect girl. I'd love to smell her cell phone after that.
I assume you meant to text someone else on your contact list instead of your own mother...
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
Do me a favor. Next time I think it's a good idea to take pulls from the handle, yell "FALCON PUNCH" and uppercut me in the taint. My future liver thanks you.
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
You know you're stoned when you tell your dog you're stoned only to realise he's not in the pickup
Randomize
