I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
at one point last night, you were literally auctioning me off. "reeeally drunk hot girl ! we'll start the bidding at an ice cold corona. oh, we have a bidder! do i hear a shot of whiskey? going once, going twice.."
youre welcome
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
You came home with a traffic cone and said, "this is my birthday condom."
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
In last nights drunken stupor i apparently purchased a luxury travel package for two to Australia. So uh...get a passport and clear your schedule for next month
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
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