Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
I woke up in a cornfield to shouting, a bottle of Jim Beam, and a bunch of mc muffins. If this doesn't scream Illinois, idk what does.
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
Randomize
