you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
I think I wrote "thanks for the free alcohol!!!" in their wedding guest book and I'm almost positive I signed my name
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
soo... how was my night?
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
Randomize