he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
Randomize
