Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
I woke up at 4am because the neighbors cat managed to sneak into my bed. HOW THE FUCK DOES THIS STUFF HAPPEN TO
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
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