How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
so after six weeks of dating she admitted shes bi and asked if it would freak me out if we brought another girl into the bedroom. i said no in this hesitant voice and she said 'if you let me dont worry ill make it up to you'
i literally fucking hate you so fucking much.
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
I think I have vodka in my lungs
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
My FitBit tracked the calories I burned during sex. Hello 2015!
I have fence marks all over my body
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
New strategy for telling if someone is drunk: will they attempt to drink a candle if you put a straw in it?
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
Randomize
