And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
I love my grandma, but if I have to sit and watch one more show on Bravo, I'm gonna burn her fuckin house to the ground
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
You know you gotta reevaluate your life when the first thought that comes to mind after you wake up is 'at least I'm still alive'
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
