Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
Randomize
